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Date:2006-07-20 19:14
Mood: apathetic

There's a guy where I currently am (kind of a health place) who aren't exactly the brightest person there is. He's always asking what the people on tv are doing, 30 seconds after they've explained it, and some weeks ago we had to explain to him Stephen King is an author. He also thinks all scary movies should be forbidden by law, since they're scary. He had never heard of piercings until today (- What's that you're having in your eyebrow? Some kind of earring? - It's a piercing. - A what? - A piercing. - What did you say? - A piercing? - A what? ...). The guy is 33 (the same age as me), you'd think he'd have heard of piercings. After all, it's been around 10-15 years (ie his early 20's). This might not sound that dumb, but how can you have avoided hearing about piercings until today?

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Date:2006-02-01 11:18
Subject:Helpful hint of the day

If someone breaks into your house and steals your marijuana, don't report it missing to the cops.

Article under here.Collapse )

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Date:2006-01-03 17:24

George W. still unimpeached.

Can't beat that.

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Date:2005-10-22 18:27

When you're running a crack house, don't put up a sign that says "Crack House" during business hours.

Memphis, TN- Memphis police say brazen drug dealers are behind bars after a sting operation called "Operation Blue Crush". All is quiet at 3293 Rosamond. That's because the alleged gang members who took over the house are in jail. Police say the suspects were so bold they advertised the fact that this was a crack house. When they were open for business, they'd flip an address sign over that read "Crack house".

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Date:2005-10-13 13:27

biscuiteater decides to stir shit up on brutal_honesty by mentioning that not only does he not tip, but he also steals tips from other tables. People give the obligatory freak out, though latercomers point out that he likely does it for drama.

This doesn't make him any less of an idiot.

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Date:2005-10-07 16:33
Subject:I hope this comm isn't dead yet...

I'll make this short and sweet: yarinaosu. Anywhere in this comments thread.

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Date:2005-08-29 12:50
Subject:Can you say "Darwin," boys and girls? I knew you could.

Someone's pointed to me to a post that quotes from an Associated Press article:

"I'm not doing too good right now," Chris Robinson said via cellphone from his home east of the city's downtown. "The water's rising pretty fast. I got a hammer and an ax and a crowbar, but I'm holding off on breaking through the roof until the last minute. Tell someone to come get me please. I want to live."
I agree with zoethe's translation: "I was too cocky or stupid to leave, so naturally other people should risk their lives fetching me from my stupidity."...'Come and get me'? Like it's just a matter of spinning by his place and picking him up. Dude, there's a hurricane outside!"

zoethe says she wishes Robinson no ill. Me, I think the gene pool needs a HUGE shot of chlorine.

[cross-posted to my own LJ; mock_the_stupid wouldn't like it because it's ZOMG SO CREWW-ELLL!!one1]

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Date:2005-07-28 21:52

My boss's boss is serving on a grand jury. Every Thursday, he has to trek into Boston. As he lives/works deep in suburbia, the trip takes an hour. Or, at least it would without traffic.

He told us in a staff meeting yesterday that several people have said to him, "Gee, why did you sign up for something like that?"

Cross-posting to mock_the_stupid and my own LJ.

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Date:2005-07-14 21:04
Subject:Shades of Ma Ferguson?

Commenters at TurnLeft.com can rate cities in the U.S., both large and small, on how liberal-friendly they are — or aren't. This anecdote about ultra-fundie Greenville, South Carolina amused me:
I grew up in this surrealistically reactionary town. My favorite story is, honest to god, one day I was debating some kids from my high school and we were overheard by the mother of this one guy. I started talking about various translations of the bible and how the "message" of various verses has been altered throughout history to suit different political agendas.

This guy's mother informed me that translating the bible was itself a sin. I asked what translation she used and she replied that she read the bible as God had intended us to, in English!!

P.S. In case you were wondering about the title of the post, look here.

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Date:2005-06-12 21:08
Subject:"Leik OMGZ your 20 and you dont have kids yet? FREAK!!!1"
Mood: sore

More a case of real-life stupidity than internet stupidity, but I wouldn't be surprised if the type of people I bitch about lurk on the net as well...reposted from a DeviantArt Complaints Forum post-
Read more...Collapse )

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Date:2005-06-01 11:17
Subject:Ferst poast! w00t!!

Wow, seems as though this community's been a ghost town lately. Anyway...

shirosenshi has been bingo'ing a young woman on childfree who wants to get sterilized. For those of you unfamiliar with childfree jargon, "breeder bingo" consists of all sorts of clichés used to try to "convince" us that we really, really should have kids, will want them someday, or should bend over backwards to give parents everything they want.)

Now, that really isn't the moronific part. It's thick-skulled and annoying, but so common (especially in that comm) that it's not really worthy of notice. What is amazing is the guy's userinfo. I quote:

Dislike[s]: ...women who fuck with men's heads...

Well, OK, there are women who do that, certainly, but for some reason this comment doesn't make me any fonder of him. Especially as he's barging into CF spaces trying to convince CF women of what they really want or don't want.

goths, wiccans and vegans,

I don't particularly like vegans, either, at least not the militant ones...and, let's face it, goths can be annoying. I'm more disgusted that he claims to dislike all adherents of a certain religion, or category of religions. This is no more OK than if he'd written "Jews." (Or "Christians" or "Muslims," for that matter, unless he qualified them with "fundamentalist.") Or "atheists."

I dislike many things.

Well, OK, so do I, but I don't list them in my userinfo.

But here's the jackpot:

Nazis: You may, on occasion, see references to Nazis, Herr Hitler, the Third Reich, the Schutzstaffel (SS), Waffen SS, The Fuhrer or other various German Nazi paraphernalia. You may also note me referring to them in a positive manner. Allow me to make one thing clear: I. AM. NOT. A. NAZI. I do not support the mass extermination of any race or religion. I do not hate any race or religion. I am not a white supremist. However, I like Nazis. I like Nazis in the same way I like vampires, zombies and werewolves - though with the latter three, I would very likely shit my pants if I met any of them.

I...really don't know what to say to this.

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Date:2005-03-26 14:46



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Date:2005-03-06 17:10

Head for the hills! Apparently our children are getting their sexual education from fanfiction! Women get pregnant at the drop of the hat at startlingly high 85% conception rates! And whatever you do, don't forget to sexily put on that cyber condom before you hop online for some smut.

I nominate tomakobriefs for the rather entertainingly stubborn ignorance she's displayed here. If nothing less, it's worth the laugh from the commentary that follows.

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Date:2005-02-16 12:13
Subject:Update on the latest Woodchipper recipients

With his holy tail between his legs, our little godbotherer has this to say for himself:

(Unedited; spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes are original)

Well this is my last post here on [community]. God revealed to me in prayer that it was time to move on to other areas of ministering. I spoke with Aaron, and God revealed the same conclusion to him. Whether or not he types anything else as a way of bidding farewell is up to him. I don't know about Smily_Coyote. Maybe God wants him to stay, maybe not. I do know where I am headed next, and as far as I know, I don't expect to see any of you there since it is concerning religions that acknowledge Christ.

Some here were pleasant to deal with. Fred_Smith and Kentox for the most part were civilized. Kentox, my mother said to inform you that all her EEGs have been normal, and even her doctor noted that the sudden change in health leaves him baffled and unable to explain! She was healed by God, not medicine! Fred_Smith, I pray you find God, and live for him. Then you can achieve abundant life! I will pray for you all. Most here were very aggressive, and I hope that in the future you grow up, and actually act mature. Only one person has apologized to me for being aggressive, and I admire that person, and accept the apology. I wish her and everyone here the very best. I encourage the moderators to do a better job keeping rude posters off!

I just want to leave you with this message. Happiness comes from God alone! I mean eternal happiness. Several of you are nothing but aggresive and rude to anyone that doesn't share your beliefs. I'm yet to see a person say they are a Christian, and not get attacked and labled a troll! Ask yourself "why am I afraid and so threatened by this person?" You are not my problem, it's the spirits trying to keep you away from Christ, that are the problem. If you want to keep your group interesting and active, I suggest you accept the fact that you WILL encounter people of a different opinion, and you can't keep treating them the way you do now! To even think that this is acceptable is appauling!

Anyways.......God does love you and is looking for an excuse to bless you. Despite what you've said and heard, God is a God of love. He wants to save you, and have you live in Heaven for eternity. Your sins have been paid for, you just have to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Without him, you will go to hell when you die. The Bible says this plainly. All man has sinned (Romans 3:23). Believing in Christ can bring you to life eternal in Christ. (John 3:16) Jesus is the only way to Heaven. (John 14:6), and without him, we can't do anything. (John 15:5) He will bring you life abundantly (John 10:10). Those without Christ are doomed and can't be blessed. God will never leave you nor forsake you. You must have faith in God for you to be saved. (Hebrews 11:6) Jesus died for you and I. Please accept him. If you confess that Jesus is the son of God and that God raised him from the dead, you shall be saved! It's that easy. Make him your Lord and Savior today! This prayer is all you need to pray, but it must be prayed with faith, and you must mean it in your heart. Afterall, God knows your heart. Aaron, Sam, and I wish you the best, and pray you will join God's family, and be with all of us in Heaven. Oh, I will be withdrawing from the group officailly, so if you reply, I won't get the messages. GOD BLESS.

"Lord Jesus, I need your help. I'm lost without you. I confess and repent of my sins. I know you alone are the son of God, and was raised from the dead by the Father. I confess my faith in you now Lord. I believe in you, and accept you as my Lord and Savior. I'm trusting in you alone to take me to heaven when I die. Thank you Jesus for my new life. I will serve and believe in you all my days. I praise you Lord God, in Jesus name I pray, Amen."

Is it just me, or is this basically "I can't win, so I'm going to pretend that God told me to leave you lot to simmer in your own sin while I run away"?

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Date:2005-02-01 02:27
Subject:N00bs on the Internet, We're All Evil Hackers, etc.

Newbie joined our LJ-religion-date group and had to be told where the userinfo page was with the rules.

That's not bad.

Newbie was convinced she recieved a personal invitation on another website to come to our group.

That's odd.

Newbie posts a link from another LJ group she joined, thinking that joining one group is the same as joining all of LJ and all groups at once.

That's odder.

Newbie says we hax0red her system to give her a personal invitation to our group, but now she can't find it.


please don't hacker my computar mister internet person.

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Date:2004-12-16 23:23
Subject:Mod post

fireuzer, ncktnnr, notfireuzer, fire_uzer, fire_user and fireuser, all being Motherfuckers Act Like They Forgot About Drew, not that they could ever possibly forget about the paragon of humanity that is Drew, are all banny-bann-banned from this community. The individual behind these troll accounts is most welcome to continue starting accounts in order to troll this community, but I would warn him that any further incursions will be reported to LJ Abuse, and I will also take extraordinary pleasure in cursing him with several different physical and mental curses. If the person behind this pathetic attempt to gain power via annoyance desires to continue its Reign Of Terror, that's fine by me; but know that I have a box-cutter firmly stabbed into the crotch of a voodoo doll marked "Drew."

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Date:2004-12-15 09:23
Subject:Morons of the Month!

Eating is for Losers, Unless You're a LightbulbCollapse )

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Date:2004-12-14 11:28
Subject:A belated Woodchipper.

To fadedtapestry for service above and beyond the call of twerpdom, I give

and to fireuzer, for being a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen, I give


Thank you, everybody.

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Date:2004-12-13 05:03
Subject:"Rape victims are guilty too!"
Mood: indescribable

In the community brutal_honesty, fadedtapestry decides to explain that

I won't ignore the fact that these dumb ass women (and men in very rare cases), walk into the most assinine of situations and then sob on our collective shoulders.

Is rape good? Hell fucking no.
Is rape acceptable? Hell fucking no.
Is rape forgiveable? Hell fucking no.

Are most rape victims to blame at least partially? Hell yes!

Stop pacifying these broads by saying, "oh, its not your fault sweety..." no of course not, its not your fault you went out and got pissed drunk and went to sleep over some guys house who you assumed was a "friend" and when he had his way with you (because you were probably all over him while you were drunk), suddenly you are a victim and he's the worst bastard in the world.

The truth is that he's a scumbag and you're a cumrag. Both of you should be locked up.

Fucking idiots.

Surely that has to earn a Woodchipper. I mean, Christ on toast.

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Date:2004-11-08 19:47
Subject:Small, but annoying.

This is not political. This is not LJ related. But I keep seeing stretched Hummers used as limos.

Do I have to explain how stupid this is?

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